things - Lila - anguish

the incessant humming of the fan - silent sunlight flowing in through the windows - a table littered with books - a wasted education - the face in the mirror - a wretched experiment of nature - the telephone - conversation - Lila - the cold voice - the emptiness - a dry invitation to meet - the bottle of rum in the fridge - two swigs to pour tranquility into blood - the wall clock that is anxious for the future - bleak, scary, purposeless - a look at myself - limbs of pain, leprous skin - just a few more decades of existence - i close my eyes - the past strangling me with colorful ribbons - "happy birthday to you" - a cake stuffed into my mouth - the grease smeared on my heart, lungs, brain - suffocating, stinking, rotten entrails - Lila's melting hands caressing my forehead when my eyes on her lap meet her tears on the sky - i open my eyes - Lila's mangled face squeezing out of my pupils - alas, i close my eyes again - entrapment - fury - an axe, a club - the pulp of the body i loved - blood, crushed bones, putrefying flesh - i kiss them all - purifying rains - i open my eyes - the ghost is born again - the tree - the moist, verdant leaves - the withered, tired, rusty bark - filthy human beings - cars - roads - movement - struggle - corroding ambition - noise, hunger, poverty - a carnival of death - the clawing anguish - a long, miserable, mysterious wait.